Why I want to write
I sat down just now to try to write in my journal about why I want to write, if I do indeed want to do so. Before starting I looked to see if I’d written about this previously. Turns out I had 5 months ago. I know it must have been written by me, but it really surprises me that I said this in this way.
I do recall doing an exercise offered in a book by Arnold Mindell where I encountered hot, bubbling mud; so it must have come from that. Gotta go back and have another look at that book and what happened with that exercise. Anyway, here is what I wrote–better late than never:
| ### 2024-08-08 |
| I want to write so that I can think things through. My mind is like a mud pot, bubbling, yet still mud. |
| Mud can be made into clay. Formed and solidified. It can even be painted. |
| Hot bubbling mud has energy. It is comforting for a sore body. |
| There is not a form to it. I sticks to things, clings until it is washed away. But if there is something there caught in it–something of value–it would be good to capture that goodness. |
| No need to take all of that mud. There is a never-ending supply, but we only need a bit of it at any one time. That is what I want to take and form and maybe paint. I want that bit to be seen clearly so that it can be usefully recalled. |
| And yet, I do not want total clarity. I want to keep the feel of it. The feel of that which bubbles up–the bubbling feel that is what first catches the eye or the heart. I don’t think I can do that. I’m not such a writer. But to get some bit out of my muddled mind as it bubbles to the surface and pops in the air would be nice. |
| That all sounds lofty. I’d better start small and maybe even stay small. We’ll see what is there, but we will only see it if I actually write. Like I’m doing now. |
| I want to write it for me. Did I say that before? Well, I say it now and I mean it. I write it for me. And it will be enough for that. Perhaps some can be shared. We’ll see. |
| So what could I write about? I suppose I’ll have to make note of ideas as they come. Right now I don’t have any thoughts. This is enough for today. |
John Rakestraw posted a quote that came from a novel by Thomas Merton. It expresses why he wrote, at least as seen in the character in the novel. Looks like another book is going on my reading list.